Thursday, January 21, 2010

What is normal anyways?

Everyday new challenges arise for Charlie and the family. Each day brings new issues, and new accomplishments. At night when I lay Charlie down in his crib and kiss those sweet little cheeks, I wonder who I will wake up to in the morning. Will Charlie have a good day? A bad day? Will he be lost? Or will I see who he really is...

Ever since starting Charlie on the GFCF (Gluten Free, Casein Free) Diet he has become a new person. I feel like as each day passes we get to meet a little bit more of the little boy who is lost inside that mind of his.

This morning I woke up to the sweet sound of him talking. It wasn't gibberish, or screaming, but rather him singing. I layed in bed and listened a little longer and could make out what he was singing... He was singing the ABC's! Now mind you it wasn't the traditional ABC's. It was the few letters he did know. He knows 5 Letters. A B C D and Y. It only lasted maybe 10 seconds, but it was the most beautiful sound I could hear. His singing soon turned into screams and shrieking. My husband- Brian graciously got up and got him out of his crib. As I layed in bed with our little girl Amelia who had woken up and greeted me with coo's and a big smile all I could think was what the day was going to hold for us. What adventures.

Charlie found an old toy this morning that I thought I had hid pretty good.... obviously I didn't. It is one of those ring toys, the stack-able rings? Well this one is wooden, and is one of his obsessions. Charlie has a few toys that he can obsess over to the point of frustration. And it's not that he is frustrated because he can't do them, he's frustrated because he does them so well, and he just can't stop- any ways back to the wooden stack-able rings- So he found them, and he put each ring on a finger and walked around the house mumbling something in Gibberish. He had reached his bedroom, when he turned around to come back into the front room, when he spotted Amelia. She had one of the rings. I have never seen charlie act the way he did. He has had his fair share of meltdowns, and toy destruction behavior. But this was something different. He let out this scream. I can't put my finger on it, but it was a mixture of frustration, anger, and terror. He ran over to Amelia and snatched the ring out of her hands, leaving her confused and hurt. She obviously started to cry, I picked her up and comforted her. I looked up to see charlie with all the rings on this fingers, smiling, and whispering something. He had this crazed look in his eye. It was like giving a drug addict their drug of choice. It was a very surreal moment.

It's moments like that, that slap me in the face. Its a slap of how our life isn't normal, and how it never will be normal. I won't have the little boy who plays with his sister, then as they grow up he picks on her, and then protects her. But I'm okay with that because our life with Charlie is a blessing in disguise.

Charlie has taught Brian and I to live in the moment, and has also taught us how to have a great deal of patience. I would never give up our life in a million years. Even if someone offered me a normal life, After all what is normal anyways?

1 comment:

  1. Sweetie I so KNOW what you are feeling. It happens here and it is different as he grows. Different triggers and reactions, but none the less all his own. You will be glad you are doing this blog, it will be soothing to look a year back and see improvments. To others they might be little but to mama's like us, they save us and give us hope and glee.