Thursday, July 29, 2010

I will come back to edit.

Words and Phrases Charlie knows and says

Thank you
Mama said
I want
Bless you
Cat (Cow)
Emily (Emmy)
Night night
Binky (binkum)
Lets go
Your turn
See you soon
Don't know
I say
Whats that?

If you didn't want to count.... thats 46 words/phrase's!! last year he could only say 4 words. 6 months ago he would only say 10!!!

I am so incredibly proud of Charlie.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Have you ever?

So I know this is a little off topic, but have you ever just looked at a picture that made your heart swell with happiness that you shed a little tear?

Well I have two for tonight. But a little back story---

So today was Charlie's first classroom experience. It was actually a lot of fun. The Class consist of 4 other boys, around the age of Charlie. One boy has the same birthday as Charlie. All are on the spectrum on some form. It was nice to connect with other moms, and just sit back and laugh at how silly our boys really are. We got to enjoy their squeals, and hand flapping. We got to enjoy the screeching of excitement and support each other throu
gh the hard tantrums. It was actually more enjoyable then I thought it would be. On the way home from school the song "You make me smile " From Uncle Kracker Came on the radio. I turned it up as high as we could stand, and we sang our hearts out. Whenever I hear this song I think of Charlie. Memories from his birth until now flash through my brain, and I can't help but smile.

Here are the Lyrics--
You´re better then the best, 
I´m lucky just to linger in your light
 Cooler then the flip side of my pillow 
that´s right Completely unaware 
Nothing can compare to where you send me 
Lets me know that it´s ok 
yeah it´s ok 
And the moments where my good times start to fade 
 You make me smile like the sun
 Fall out of bed sing like bird 
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
 Crazy on a Sunday night 
You make me dance like a fool
 Forget how to breathe
 Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
 Just the thought of you can drive me wild, Ohh you make me smile  
Even when you´re gone, Somehow you come along 
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that 
You steal away the rain and just like that  
You make me smile like the sun
 Fall out of bed sing like bird 
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
 Crazy on a Sunday night 
You make me dance like a fool 
Forget how to breathe
 Shine like gold, buzz like a bee 
Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh you make me smile  
Don´t know how I lived without you 
Cuz everytime that I get around you, I see the best of me inside your eyes 
You make me smile 
You make me dance like a fool, Forget how to breathe 
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee 
Just the thought of you can drive me wild  
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
 Dizzy in my head spin like a record 
Crazy on a Sunday night You make me dance like a fool 
Forget how to breathe 
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee 
Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh you make me smile 
And here is the Youtube link :

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July!

I so wish I could say that and mean it. It's been kind of a rough day for Charlie. I expected it. I really did. People started lighting off fireworks around 2pm today. I knew all the different booms and crackles would eventually get to Charlie. What I didn't expect is the Airplanes flying over our house at 9 AM.

Charlie started out the morning crying. I have no idea why, but I have a feeling that it was because yesterday was a tough day. It was full of changes.

Yesterday was his Gymnastics class. After the first class he knew the routine. We would start out in the foam pit, stretch, do the first routine, then jump on the trampoline, do the second routine, and finish with the foam pit. So Yesterday morning we were getting him ready, talking to him about his gymnastic's class, and getting him prepared for the day. Well we get there, and instead of heading to the pit, we go to the other side of the gym. We played a game instead. The kids had to put the same colored balls into the same colored hula hoop. Charlie started out okay. Did a couple, and then was done. He had a few melt downs, and wouldn't stretch. Once we got into the regular routines he did great. At the end he had a BLAST in the foam pit, We had a hard time getting him out. LOL!

The rest of the day was shot, we ran a bunch of errands and was out and about most of the day. The only normal thing we did yesterday was his Gymnastics class. So I knew today was gonna be a rough one.

So fast forward to today. Fireworks going off since 1-2pm. Charlie is on Sensory overload. I just feel so bad for him. I wish we could enjoy this Holiday with him like we have before. I know as he get's older his SPD will get worse, and things we have done in the past, we won't be able to do until much later.

I was really hoping this year we could take both kids to the festival here in Canby and just Enjoy the day as a family. I just hate being disappointed when we aren't able to do things. I try really hard to get Charlie out of his comfort zone, and try new things. But there comes a point were it goes from helping Charlie to hurting Charlie.

I just wished that everyone understood that.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

So my last post at the end I said "Our Autism Journey isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. I have thought about this for a little while now wondering what this means to me, and what does it mean to our family.

This simple but powerful quote means so much. This Journey we are taking is like a storm. Most of the time it is dark, and unknowing. Sometimes there is loud thunder and Crashing lighting. These are Charlie's hardest moments, these are moments when all hell seems to break loose and the sweet little boy that we know as Charlie gets lost in this child that just can't control or help the screaming, thrashing, tantrums. There is lots of rain. There are points in the storm where you can see the sun peak through, and a ray of sunshine breaks through the clouds and you can see in the distance the ray of sunshine hitting the fields. These are days when Charlie learns new things, he breaks through the darkness of his Sensory issues and Autism and you see the REAL Charlie. The little boy that is stuck inside.

Through this storm we have learned SO much about what it means to be a parent, a partner, a wife, a husband, and a support system.

Even though this Storm is scary, hard, confusing, and even joyful, We dance in the rain every chance we get. The rain shows up when Charlie is getting ready to come through with his bright smiles, hugs, kisses, and laughs. We learned that when it rains we step outside, we feel every drop hit our face, run down our cheeks, and on to our clothes, that we are human, and Charlie is our guiding light.

Oh Charlie!

So it is not a secret that Charlie's Childhood was full of pain. He was constantly sick with respiratory stuff, got weird colds, and was constantly constipated. When he was younger Brian and I would say to each other "I can't wait until he can tell us WHERE it hurts so we can fix it" Well it seemed like that day would never come. Charlie would just cry for hours and hours on end, screaming, biting, hitting his head. It was always a guessing game. At first it was the normal is he hungry, wet, cold, etc., Then as he got older is was "Does his head hurt? Does his mouth hurt? Smell his ears, does he have an infection?" The list of things got bigger and bigger to check out before we would figure out the cause of the screams, and most times we never did.

When Charlie falls down or hurts himself, he will tell you "ow" and either rub his end or look at his finger, or part that he had scrapped or banged on something. We have worked with him for SOO long to try and get us to tell him 'HURT!" instead of just screams. I know I say this a lot, but I honestly thought it would be YEARS before Charlie would tell us that something hurt.

Well folks, he's done it! I am soooo excited, but also sad because he hurts and I don't know how to fix it. But He is telling me that his tummy hurts. We have gone BACK to the GFCF diet and that is when his tummy started to hurt. I don't know if because he ate so much, or he isn't eating enough? We are trying to get to the Dr. but insurance has changed and it might take a couple days to get there. BUT that's besides the point.

The point is, is that he comes up to me LIFTS up his shirts, TOUCHES his stomach and SAYS "HURTS MAMA!"

I am so proud that Charlie is working sooo hard through all his sensory problems. We acknowledge the pain and try to do things for him. But he just walks away from us and continues on with playing. To say I'm PROUD would be a complete understatement.

Also he is having some sleeping issues. He slept in his bean bag last night. I'm not sure how safe that is, but it was the only way he could get comfy and fall asleep. I got up through out the night to check on him, I did put him in his bed, only for him to wake up later and call for Brian to put him back in his bean bag. He seemed to sleep pretty well while in the bag, so I think as long as it doesn't cover his face it is okay?

Charlie is starting to Dress and Undress himself. It really is quite cool. We are going to try and let him pick out what he wants to wear. Just so he gets that he does have the freedom of wearing what he wants. He's doing really well. Once his legs are in the holes he can pull up his pants/shorts, He can take off his shirt and put it on with some assistance. He can put his Croc's on with encouragement, and little instruction , ON THE RIGHT FEET none the less. Awesome!!

Charlie has also started discovering body parts. While this is also AWESOME, it can kind of be a challenge. Here's the most recent story:

So last week Charlie discovered his nipples after a dip in their kiddie pool. He was cold and he was starting to nip. He looked down and said "OOOoooH!!! Ow!" And touched them. He did this several times, while I just laughed. After I got the giggles under control I told Charlie "Those are your nipples! Now lets put on a shirt, Your cold!" And left it at that. Every once and awhile he would re-discover them and exclaim "ooooo!!" We have alway acknowledged his new found body part, and then moved on. Well Yesterday the kids where running around in nothing but Diapers when all of a sudden Charlie noticed Amelia had nipples too! He ran over and proclaimed "OoOoooO!! COOL!!!" and started touching them. lol! I tried explaining to Charlie that while it is okay to touch our own bodies and explore our selves, it is not nice to explore other people. I don't think he really understood because after a couple times of Charlie rushing over to Amelia to see her nipples, I put a shirt on Amelia. Several times I caught him lifting up her shirt. I know it's totally innocent and totally cute, But I want him to learn that it's not nice to lift up peoples shirts to look at their nipples! LOL!

He has just grown SO much in these last 6 months that I am starting to forget that at one point he had no language at the age of 2. I am just so incredibly proud of him, and am so humbled to be his mommy.

There was a quote on an Autism Board I am apart of that totally describes how we feel as a family right now,

"Our Autism journey isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"