I will come back to edit.

Words and Phrases Charlie knows and says

Please

Thank you

Bye

Hi

Ick

Need

Mama said

I want

Bless you

Mommy

Daddy

Milk

Cup

More

Meme

Walk

Outside

Cat (Cow)

Dog

Nannie

Shoe

Bath(Back)

Blanket

Sissy

Thomas

Percy

James

Emily (Emmy)

Night night

No

Stuck

Binky (binkum)

This

Help

Ow

Lets go

Your turn

See you soon

Car

Ball

Train

Don't know

I say

Whats that?

Papa

Grandma

If you didn't want to count.... thats 46 words/phrase's!! last year he could only say 4 words. 6 months ago he would only say 10!!!

I am so incredibly proud of Charlie.

Have you ever?

So I know this is a little off topic, but have you ever just looked at a picture that made your heart swell with happiness that you shed a little tear?

Well I have two for tonight. But a little back story---

So today was Charlie's first classroom experience. It was actually a lot of fun. The Class consist of 4 other boys, around the age of Charlie. One boy has the same birthday as Charlie. All are on the spectrum on some form. It was nice to connect with other moms, and just sit back and laugh at how silly our boys really are. We got to enjoy their squeals, and hand flapping. We got to enjoy the screeching of excitement and support each other throu

gh the hard tantrums. It was actually more enjoyable then I thought it would be. On the way home from school the song "You make me smile " From Uncle Kracker Came on the radio. I turned it up as high as we could stand, and we sang our hearts out. Whenever I hear this song I think of Charlie. Memories from his birth until now flash through my brain, and I can't help but smile.

Here are the Lyrics--

You´re better then the best, 

I´m lucky just to linger in your light

 Cooler then the flip side of my pillow 

that´s right Completely unaware 

Nothing can compare to where you send me 

Lets me know that it´s ok 

yeah it´s ok 

And the moments where my good times start to fade 

 You make me smile like the sun

 Fall out of bed sing like bird 

Dizzy in my head spin like a record

 Crazy on a Sunday night 

You make me dance like a fool

 Forget how to breathe

 Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

 Just the thought of you can drive me wild, Ohh you make me smile  

Even when you´re gone, Somehow you come along 

Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that 

You steal away the rain and just like that  

You make me smile like the sun

 Fall out of bed sing like bird 

Dizzy in my head spin like a record

 Crazy on a Sunday night 

You make me dance like a fool 

Forget how to breathe

 Shine like gold, buzz like a bee 

Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh you make me smile  

Don´t know how I lived without you 

Cuz everytime that I get around you, I see the best of me inside your eyes 

You make me smile 

You make me dance like a fool, Forget how to breathe 

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee 

Just the thought of you can drive me wild  

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like bird

 Dizzy in my head spin like a record 

Crazy on a Sunday night You make me dance like a fool 

Forget how to breathe 

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee 

Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh you make me smile 

And here is the Youtube link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffej15-Dgl0

Happy 4th of July!

I so wish I could say that and mean it. It's been kind of a rough day for Charlie. I expected it. I really did. People started lighting off fireworks around 2pm today. I knew all the different booms and crackles would eventually get to Charlie. What I didn't expect is the Airplanes flying over our house at 9 AM.

Charlie started out the morning crying. I have no idea why, but I have a feeling that it was because yesterday was a tough day. It was full of changes.

Yesterday was his Gymnastics class. After the first class he knew the routine. We would start out in the foam pit, stretch, do the first routine, then jump on the trampoline, do the second routine, and finish with the foam pit. So Yesterday morning we were getting him ready, talking to him about his gymnastic's class, and getting him prepared for the day. Well we get there, and instead of heading to the pit, we go to the other side of the gym. We played a game instead. The kids had to put the same colored balls into the same colored hula hoop. Charlie started out okay. Did a couple, and then was done. He had a few melt downs, and wouldn't stretch. Once we got into the regular routines he did great. At the end he had a BLAST in the foam pit, We had a hard time getting him out. LOL!

The rest of the day was shot, we ran a bunch of errands and was out and about most of the day. The only normal thing we did yesterday was his Gymnastics class. So I knew today was gonna be a rough one.

So fast forward to today. Fireworks going off since 1-2pm. Charlie is on Sensory overload. I just feel so bad for him. I wish we could enjoy this Holiday with him like we have before. I know as he get's older his SPD will get worse, and things we have done in the past, we won't be able to do until much later.

I was really hoping this year we could take both kids to the festival here in Canby and just Enjoy the day as a family. I just hate being disappointed when we aren't able to do things. I try really hard to get Charlie out of his comfort zone, and try new things. But there comes a point were it goes from helping Charlie to hurting Charlie.

I just wished that everyone understood that.

So my last post at the end I said "Our Autism Journey isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. I have thought about this for a little while now wondering what this means to me, and what does it mean to our family.

This simple but powerful quote means so much. This Journey we are taking is like a storm. Most of the time it is dark, and unknowing. Sometimes there is loud thunder and Crashing lighting. These are Charlie's hardest moments, these are moments when all hell seems to break loose and the sweet little boy that we know as Charlie gets lost in this child that just can't control or help the screaming, thrashing, tantrums. There is lots of rain. There are points in the storm where you can see the sun peak through, and a ray of sunshine breaks through the clouds and you can see in the distance the ray of sunshine hitting the fields. These are days when Charlie learns new things, he breaks through the darkness of his Sensory issues and Autism and you see the REAL Charlie. The little boy that is stuck inside.

Through this storm we have learned SO much about what it means to be a parent, a partner, a wife, a husband, and a support system.

Even though this Storm is scary, hard, confusing, and even joyful, We dance in the rain every chance we get. The rain shows up when Charlie is getting ready to come through with his bright smiles, hugs, kisses, and laughs. We learned that when it rains we step outside, we feel every drop hit our face, run down our cheeks, and on to our clothes, that we are human, and Charlie is our guiding light.

Oh Charlie!

So it is not a secret that Charlie's Childhood was full of pain. He was constantly sick with respiratory stuff, got weird colds, and was constantly constipated. When he was younger Brian and I would say to each other "I can't wait until he can tell us WHERE it hurts so we can fix it" Well it seemed like that day would never come. Charlie would just cry for hours and hours on end, screaming, biting, hitting his head. It was always a guessing game. At first it was the normal is he hungry, wet, cold, etc., Then as he got older is was "Does his head hurt? Does his mouth hurt? Smell his ears, does he have an infection?" The list of things got bigger and bigger to check out before we would figure out the cause of the screams, and most times we never did.

When Charlie falls down or hurts himself, he will tell you "ow" and either rub his end or look at his finger, or part that he had scrapped or banged on something. We have worked with him for SOO long to try and get us to tell him 'HURT!" instead of just screams. I know I say this a lot, but I honestly thought it would be YEARS before Charlie would tell us that something hurt.

Well folks, he's done it! I am soooo excited, but also sad because he hurts and I don't know how to fix it. But He is telling me that his tummy hurts. We have gone BACK to the GFCF diet and that is when his tummy started to hurt. I don't know if because he ate so much, or he isn't eating enough? We are trying to get to the Dr. but insurance has changed and it might take a couple days to get there. BUT that's besides the point.

The point is, is that he comes up to me LIFTS up his shirts, TOUCHES his stomach and SAYS "HURTS MAMA!"

I am so proud that Charlie is working sooo hard through all his sensory problems. We acknowledge the pain and try to do things for him. But he just walks away from us and continues on with playing. To say I'm PROUD would be a complete understatement.

Also he is having some sleeping issues. He slept in his bean bag last night. I'm not sure how safe that is, but it was the only way he could get comfy and fall asleep. I got up through out the night to check on him, I did put him in his bed, only for him to wake up later and call for Brian to put him back in his bean bag. He seemed to sleep pretty well while in the bag, so I think as long as it doesn't cover his face it is okay?

Charlie is starting to Dress and Undress himself. It really is quite cool. We are going to try and let him pick out what he wants to wear. Just so he gets that he does have the freedom of wearing what he wants. He's doing really well. Once his legs are in the holes he can pull up his pants/shorts, He can take off his shirt and put it on with some assistance. He can put his Croc's on with encouragement, and little instruction , ON THE RIGHT FEET none the less. Awesome!!

Charlie has also started discovering body parts. While this is also AWESOME, it can kind of be a challenge. Here's the most recent story:

So last week Charlie discovered his nipples after a dip in their kiddie pool. He was cold and he was starting to nip. He looked down and said "OOOoooH!!! Ow!" And touched them. He did this several times, while I just laughed. After I got the giggles under control I told Charlie "Those are your nipples! Now lets put on a shirt, Your cold!" And left it at that. Every once and awhile he would re-discover them and exclaim "ooooo!!" We have alway acknowledged his new found body part, and then moved on. Well Yesterday the kids where running around in nothing but Diapers when all of a sudden Charlie noticed Amelia had nipples too! He ran over and proclaimed "OoOoooO!! COOL!!!" and started touching them. lol! I tried explaining to Charlie that while it is okay to touch our own bodies and explore our selves, it is not nice to explore other people. I don't think he really understood because after a couple times of Charlie rushing over to Amelia to see her nipples, I put a shirt on Amelia. Several times I caught him lifting up her shirt. I know it's totally innocent and totally cute, But I want him to learn that it's not nice to lift up peoples shirts to look at their nipples! LOL!

He has just grown SO much in these last 6 months that I am starting to forget that at one point he had no language at the age of 2. I am just so incredibly proud of him, and am so humbled to be his mommy.

There was a quote on an Autism Board I am apart of that totally describes how we feel as a family right now,

"Our Autism journey isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"

Long update!

So I am finally going to sit down and update about Charlie! There is SO much to talk about, so it might take a while to read!

I have been struggling with ideas and ways to teach Charlie. I have been so concerned on what the best way for him to learn would be, that in honesty I wasn't teaching him much. I was still showing him new things, but not in a way that he should be shown. Then Brian and I went to the Conference. Eveything that Dr. Grandin said NOT to do, I was doing. I was focused on the label. I would think to myself "Well I can't do this because Charlie is Autistic" She said "Don't get caught up on Labels" And I was. I didn't realize at the time that I was.... But I was. I wanted to protect Charlie from the things he didn't like and would set him off, because I didn't want him to go through his childhood hating things. I wouldn't let Charlie help cook because I was afraid of "What if he didn't like the texture, and then he wouldn't eat anything at all!!"

I was oblivious to the fact that maybe Charlie WANTED to touch his food, play with it, feel it in different ways. So after the conference I threw everything I was doing out the window, and started anew.

Charlie has helped make cookies, and dinner, and to say He LOVED it would be a understatement! I did not realize how much he enjoyed it, until I looked at the pictures I took. He really did enjoy it. He loved Cracking the eggs, and mixing the flours. He loved filling the measuring cups and pouring them into the bowl. We were talking an laughing the whole time. I gave him different things to use to stir with. I gave him beaters, whisks, spoons, forks, etc., and he picked what he liked best. It was such a learning experience for the both of us.

Charlie's intolerance to Gluten and Dairy seem to be slowly going away. He has had over the past week a couple things with some gluten in them. He hasn't acted any different then normal. Which gives me hope that he will be able to eat some different foods here soon. I do not plan on taking Charlie off the GFCFYF diet at all, But this at least gives us a little room to breathe.

He is also really starting to eat. A LOT. He is using his fork and spoon fantastically and is trying his hardest to have manners at the table. We don't request a lot from him. But he knows when he should say "Thank you" and if he wants down, he knows he can get down. Meals are ALWAYS a work in progress, but by taking Dr. Grandin's Advice and letting him play with his food, and cooking it before hand, then require manners at the table makes a WORLD of difference.

Charlie has been talking a ton lately. He is gaining new words every day it seems like. He is up to 20 words right now. I am SO incredibly proud of him. He is just doing so well.

Charlie is currently OBSESSED with Thomas the Train movies. His favorites are Percy, James, and Toby. He knows their names, and what they look like. We recently have lost James (He says Kime) and he is know where to be found. He asks about him at least every 30 minutes or so. "Where's Kime?!" And then we search more. It's fantastic!

It's kind of funny how much I love the 2 year old in him. Some parents would give up and go buy a new train, or tell them it's lost forever. But I really do enjoy looking for the lost train. It's like we connect. We hold hands, go to a room, and while I'm looking in one spot I can say "Charlie look under your bed!" And he DOES IT! He listens and follows directions. It really is awesome.

He is starting to follow directions more and more these days. It really is a blessing. He is teaching Amelia how to get her shoes when we are getting ready to go. I can tell him "Charlie help meme get her shoes!" And he takes her by her hand and helps her get her shoes. I honestly thought that Charlie wouldn't be teaching Amelia things, but she would be his teacher. Just goes to show how wrong I was!

Amelia and Charlie are literally two peas in a pod. I thought that one would hate the other or be jealous of each other ( sometimes meme is when I'm trying to calm Charlie down) but really they are best of friends. I'm sure they would sleep in the same bed if we let them.

Charlie is experimenting with lots of different things lately. Generally he hates things on his head. Like he will freak out if you put anything on it such as like headphones, hats, the hood on his coat etc., Definitely not a fan, until recently. Brian and I where cleaning out our closet and found some old baseball hats that I had gotten at a concert WAY back when we were dating. I tossed the hat on the floor when Charlie grabbed it and put it on. He wore it all day. He though it was THE coolest thing. Since then he has tried on meme's sun hats, his construction hat, beanies, baseball hats etc., He is really into trying them on and walking around, looking at himself in the mirror and making faces. Of course he can not be prompted to do this, he has to be random and at his choosing. And honestly I'm okay with that, because this is progress. He is trying new things, different textures, and pressures. He is doing it at his pace.

We are still working on getting Charlie to dress himself. It definitely is going to take time, but he is progressing well. He can zip up his coat now, but still needs help with putting his arms in the right holes.

Charlie turns 3 in less than 4 months. I honestly can't believe it. He is growing in leaps and bounds, and I am the luckiest mom in the world to have him for my son. He truly is an inspiration.

Meeting my Hero

Today Brian and I went to an Autism Conference here in Oregon. It was put on by Future Horizons and the guest speaker was Temple Grandin. I have been looking forward to this for MONTHS.

It was such an amazing experience, that I must start at the beginning.

Back in January of this year I had a dear friend tell me I needed to google "Temple Grandin" She was an Autistic woman who became successful and that she thought I would really benefit from her. I kinda waved her off and told her that I was too "busy" to try and deal with researching one more thing that dealt with Autism. I was up to my eye brows in research from google and Charlie's therapist's that I honestly didn't need or want one more thing to read.

Ironically a couple days later one of Charlie's Therapist had mentioned this Temple character again. At that moment I thought to myself "I might as well have my whole head under water" and googled it.

I did not realize how much she would change my life. I read a little about her and then ordered almost all of her books. I still have 3 books of hers I still need to read, but life with an Autistic two year old you don't get much down time.

So when her books came in the mail, I read, and read and read. Temple showed me a side of Charlie that I never would have known. She taught me things that no other google search or therapist has yet taught me. Through her books, she taught me to connect to my little boy that I though I wouldn't ever be able to connect with.

So once I found out that she was going to be in town, I bought tickets. Fast forward to months of waiting. This morning I woke up at 5 AM, made the kids their breakfast muffins, and got ready to go. We had to leave the house by 6:30 to get there in time to check in, eat a little breakfast, and see what books and tools they where selling.

Fast forward- We are in the hotel, already checked in, I was feeling pretty nervous, and had high anxiety. I not only was going to meet my hero, but I was leaving m

y kids for one full day (YIKES!) So Brian and I where standing at the end of the book line, looking at some children's books that explain bullying, why Children on the spectrum are different when we heard an "Excuse me".

That's right folks, it was Temple Grandin herself!

All night I had been rehearsing my speech that I would say to her if I got to meet her, and it went a little something like this

"Dr. Grandin I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have helped me connect with my son that I thought would be lost forever, You have given me the courage and strength to take this journey with him, and you have give my family hope. Thank you so much"

Want to know what I did instead?

I cried.

Yep... like a baby. Talk about EMBARRASSING! I tried to regain composer, and when I turned around she was talking to other moms about their children, but just couldn't. Instead Brian and I went to our seats and ate our breakfast.

A short while later Dr. Grandin started her speech, she talked for about an hour and a half. It was so insightful. I took lots of notes, and hung on every word. Once it was break time I figured I had enough courage to speak to her, to say something, anything. So, I got in line. I was the last person in line to meet her, and again, nothing came out. I was so overwhelmed with emotions, that all I could say was "Thank You" as she signed my paper.

The next speaker was Paula Aquilla. Her speech was on Building Bridges through Sensory Integration. It was VERY interesting. A tid bit long, but so informative. Gave me more insights into why Charlie does this things he does. There was one more speaker after Mrs. Aquilla, Her name was Britt Collins. Ms. Collins talked about OT in school and the In's and outs.

The whole thing was just so completely overwhelming with information, that I am completely Exhausted. I now have new tools to use with Charlie and feel re-energized to get him on the right track again. Today was a total make over -sort to speak- for me. It gave me fresh ideas on how to teach Charlie, and set in stone the things we have been doing.

Here are some pics from the conference.

My lovely Breakfast

People waiting to see Dr. Grandin

Dr. Grandin Signing Books and Answering Questions

You can see the massive line. There was about 200 people attending.

Dr. Grandin