Oh Charlie!

So it is not a secret that Charlie's Childhood was full of pain. He was constantly sick with respiratory stuff, got weird colds, and was constantly constipated. When he was younger Brian and I would say to each other "I can't wait until he can tell us WHERE it hurts so we can fix it" Well it seemed like that day would never come. Charlie would just cry for hours and hours on end, screaming, biting, hitting his head. It was always a guessing game. At first it was the normal is he hungry, wet, cold, etc., Then as he got older is was "Does his head hurt? Does his mouth hurt? Smell his ears, does he have an infection?" The list of things got bigger and bigger to check out before we would figure out the cause of the screams, and most times we never did.

When Charlie falls down or hurts himself, he will tell you "ow" and either rub his end or look at his finger, or part that he had scrapped or banged on something. We have worked with him for SOO long to try and get us to tell him 'HURT!" instead of just screams. I know I say this a lot, but I honestly thought it would be YEARS before Charlie would tell us that something hurt.

Well folks, he's done it! I am soooo excited, but also sad because he hurts and I don't know how to fix it. But He is telling me that his tummy hurts. We have gone BACK to the GFCF diet and that is when his tummy started to hurt. I don't know if because he ate so much, or he isn't eating enough? We are trying to get to the Dr. but insurance has changed and it might take a couple days to get there. BUT that's besides the point.

The point is, is that he comes up to me LIFTS up his shirts, TOUCHES his stomach and SAYS "HURTS MAMA!"

I am so proud that Charlie is working sooo hard through all his sensory problems. We acknowledge the pain and try to do things for him. But he just walks away from us and continues on with playing. To say I'm PROUD would be a complete understatement.

Also he is having some sleeping issues. He slept in his bean bag last night. I'm not sure how safe that is, but it was the only way he could get comfy and fall asleep. I got up through out the night to check on him, I did put him in his bed, only for him to wake up later and call for Brian to put him back in his bean bag. He seemed to sleep pretty well while in the bag, so I think as long as it doesn't cover his face it is okay?

Charlie is starting to Dress and Undress himself. It really is quite cool. We are going to try and let him pick out what he wants to wear. Just so he gets that he does have the freedom of wearing what he wants. He's doing really well. Once his legs are in the holes he can pull up his pants/shorts, He can take off his shirt and put it on with some assistance. He can put his Croc's on with encouragement, and little instruction , ON THE RIGHT FEET none the less. Awesome!!

Charlie has also started discovering body parts. While this is also AWESOME, it can kind of be a challenge. Here's the most recent story:

So last week Charlie discovered his nipples after a dip in their kiddie pool. He was cold and he was starting to nip. He looked down and said "OOOoooH!!! Ow!" And touched them. He did this several times, while I just laughed. After I got the giggles under control I told Charlie "Those are your nipples! Now lets put on a shirt, Your cold!" And left it at that. Every once and awhile he would re-discover them and exclaim "ooooo!!" We have alway acknowledged his new found body part, and then moved on. Well Yesterday the kids where running around in nothing but Diapers when all of a sudden Charlie noticed Amelia had nipples too! He ran over and proclaimed "OoOoooO!! COOL!!!" and started touching them. lol! I tried explaining to Charlie that while it is okay to touch our own bodies and explore our selves, it is not nice to explore other people. I don't think he really understood because after a couple times of Charlie rushing over to Amelia to see her nipples, I put a shirt on Amelia. Several times I caught him lifting up her shirt. I know it's totally innocent and totally cute, But I want him to learn that it's not nice to lift up peoples shirts to look at their nipples! LOL!

He has just grown SO much in these last 6 months that I am starting to forget that at one point he had no language at the age of 2. I am just so incredibly proud of him, and am so humbled to be his mommy.

There was a quote on an Autism Board I am apart of that totally describes how we feel as a family right now,

"Our Autism journey isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"

Long update!

So I am finally going to sit down and update about Charlie! There is SO much to talk about, so it might take a while to read!

I have been struggling with ideas and ways to teach Charlie. I have been so concerned on what the best way for him to learn would be, that in honesty I wasn't teaching him much. I was still showing him new things, but not in a way that he should be shown. Then Brian and I went to the Conference. Eveything that Dr. Grandin said NOT to do, I was doing. I was focused on the label. I would think to myself "Well I can't do this because Charlie is Autistic" She said "Don't get caught up on Labels" And I was. I didn't realize at the time that I was.... But I was. I wanted to protect Charlie from the things he didn't like and would set him off, because I didn't want him to go through his childhood hating things. I wouldn't let Charlie help cook because I was afraid of "What if he didn't like the texture, and then he wouldn't eat anything at all!!"

I was oblivious to the fact that maybe Charlie WANTED to touch his food, play with it, feel it in different ways. So after the conference I threw everything I was doing out the window, and started anew.

Charlie has helped make cookies, and dinner, and to say He LOVED it would be a understatement! I did not realize how much he enjoyed it, until I looked at the pictures I took. He really did enjoy it. He loved Cracking the eggs, and mixing the flours. He loved filling the measuring cups and pouring them into the bowl. We were talking an laughing the whole time. I gave him different things to use to stir with. I gave him beaters, whisks, spoons, forks, etc., and he picked what he liked best. It was such a learning experience for the both of us.

Charlie's intolerance to Gluten and Dairy seem to be slowly going away. He has had over the past week a couple things with some gluten in them. He hasn't acted any different then normal. Which gives me hope that he will be able to eat some different foods here soon. I do not plan on taking Charlie off the GFCFYF diet at all, But this at least gives us a little room to breathe.

He is also really starting to eat. A LOT. He is using his fork and spoon fantastically and is trying his hardest to have manners at the table. We don't request a lot from him. But he knows when he should say "Thank you" and if he wants down, he knows he can get down. Meals are ALWAYS a work in progress, but by taking Dr. Grandin's Advice and letting him play with his food, and cooking it before hand, then require manners at the table makes a WORLD of difference.

Charlie has been talking a ton lately. He is gaining new words every day it seems like. He is up to 20 words right now. I am SO incredibly proud of him. He is just doing so well.

Charlie is currently OBSESSED with Thomas the Train movies. His favorites are Percy, James, and Toby. He knows their names, and what they look like. We recently have lost James (He says Kime) and he is know where to be found. He asks about him at least every 30 minutes or so. "Where's Kime?!" And then we search more. It's fantastic!

It's kind of funny how much I love the 2 year old in him. Some parents would give up and go buy a new train, or tell them it's lost forever. But I really do enjoy looking for the lost train. It's like we connect. We hold hands, go to a room, and while I'm looking in one spot I can say "Charlie look under your bed!" And he DOES IT! He listens and follows directions. It really is awesome.

He is starting to follow directions more and more these days. It really is a blessing. He is teaching Amelia how to get her shoes when we are getting ready to go. I can tell him "Charlie help meme get her shoes!" And he takes her by her hand and helps her get her shoes. I honestly thought that Charlie wouldn't be teaching Amelia things, but she would be his teacher. Just goes to show how wrong I was!

Amelia and Charlie are literally two peas in a pod. I thought that one would hate the other or be jealous of each other ( sometimes meme is when I'm trying to calm Charlie down) but really they are best of friends. I'm sure they would sleep in the same bed if we let them.

Charlie is experimenting with lots of different things lately. Generally he hates things on his head. Like he will freak out if you put anything on it such as like headphones, hats, the hood on his coat etc., Definitely not a fan, until recently. Brian and I where cleaning out our closet and found some old baseball hats that I had gotten at a concert WAY back when we were dating. I tossed the hat on the floor when Charlie grabbed it and put it on. He wore it all day. He though it was THE coolest thing. Since then he has tried on meme's sun hats, his construction hat, beanies, baseball hats etc., He is really into trying them on and walking around, looking at himself in the mirror and making faces. Of course he can not be prompted to do this, he has to be random and at his choosing. And honestly I'm okay with that, because this is progress. He is trying new things, different textures, and pressures. He is doing it at his pace.

We are still working on getting Charlie to dress himself. It definitely is going to take time, but he is progressing well. He can zip up his coat now, but still needs help with putting his arms in the right holes.

Charlie turns 3 in less than 4 months. I honestly can't believe it. He is growing in leaps and bounds, and I am the luckiest mom in the world to have him for my son. He truly is an inspiration.

Meeting my Hero

Today Brian and I went to an Autism Conference here in Oregon. It was put on by Future Horizons and the guest speaker was Temple Grandin. I have been looking forward to this for MONTHS.

It was such an amazing experience, that I must start at the beginning.

Back in January of this year I had a dear friend tell me I needed to google "Temple Grandin" She was an Autistic woman who became successful and that she thought I would really benefit from her. I kinda waved her off and told her that I was too "busy" to try and deal with researching one more thing that dealt with Autism. I was up to my eye brows in research from google and Charlie's therapist's that I honestly didn't need or want one more thing to read.

Ironically a couple days later one of Charlie's Therapist had mentioned this Temple character again. At that moment I thought to myself "I might as well have my whole head under water" and googled it.

I did not realize how much she would change my life. I read a little about her and then ordered almost all of her books. I still have 3 books of hers I still need to read, but life with an Autistic two year old you don't get much down time.

So when her books came in the mail, I read, and read and read. Temple showed me a side of Charlie that I never would have known. She taught me things that no other google search or therapist has yet taught me. Through her books, she taught me to connect to my little boy that I though I wouldn't ever be able to connect with.

So once I found out that she was going to be in town, I bought tickets. Fast forward to months of waiting. This morning I woke up at 5 AM, made the kids their breakfast muffins, and got ready to go. We had to leave the house by 6:30 to get there in time to check in, eat a little breakfast, and see what books and tools they where selling.

Fast forward- We are in the hotel, already checked in, I was feeling pretty nervous, and had high anxiety. I not only was going to meet my hero, but I was leaving m

y kids for one full day (YIKES!) So Brian and I where standing at the end of the book line, looking at some children's books that explain bullying, why Children on the spectrum are different when we heard an "Excuse me".

That's right folks, it was Temple Grandin herself!

All night I had been rehearsing my speech that I would say to her if I got to meet her, and it went a little something like this

"Dr. Grandin I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have helped me connect with my son that I thought would be lost forever, You have given me the courage and strength to take this journey with him, and you have give my family hope. Thank you so much"

Want to know what I did instead?

I cried.

Yep... like a baby. Talk about EMBARRASSING! I tried to regain composer, and when I turned around she was talking to other moms about their children, but just couldn't. Instead Brian and I went to our seats and ate our breakfast.

A short while later Dr. Grandin started her speech, she talked for about an hour and a half. It was so insightful. I took lots of notes, and hung on every word. Once it was break time I figured I had enough courage to speak to her, to say something, anything. So, I got in line. I was the last person in line to meet her, and again, nothing came out. I was so overwhelmed with emotions, that all I could say was "Thank You" as she signed my paper.

The next speaker was Paula Aquilla. Her speech was on Building Bridges through Sensory Integration. It was VERY interesting. A tid bit long, but so informative. Gave me more insights into why Charlie does this things he does. There was one more speaker after Mrs. Aquilla, Her name was Britt Collins. Ms. Collins talked about OT in school and the In's and outs.

The whole thing was just so completely overwhelming with information, that I am completely Exhausted. I now have new tools to use with Charlie and feel re-energized to get him on the right track again. Today was a total make over -sort to speak- for me. It gave me fresh ideas on how to teach Charlie, and set in stone the things we have been doing.

Here are some pics from the conference.

My lovely Breakfast

People waiting to see Dr. Grandin

Dr. Grandin Signing Books and Answering Questions

You can see the massive line. There was about 200 people attending.

Dr. Grandin

Brilliant!

Charlie's Vocab is literally growing by the day. I am so impressed with him. I want to get this all written down so I remember what he is saying in case of regression. So here are the words and phrases Charlie can say willingly. Note- These are the ONLY things he can say.

-He know's his Alphabet

-He knows his numbers up to 9

-He can Greet (Hello, Hi, Bye, See you soon, night night)

-He gives kisses

-He can say "Your turn" in proper context

-He knows manners (Please, Thank you, More(knows the sign for more))

-He knows people (mom, dad, papa, grandma, Nannie (the dog))

-He knows "i don't know" (not sure if he understands this, but it sure is cute!)

-He knows "Whats that" and "I say..." "It's a...."

-He knows objects (Car, Ball,)

-He knows somewhat Inside and outside. Still working on it.

-He can point, and get a spoon when he wants food. He brings his cup when he is thirsty.

-He can follow single commands- "Sit on your bottom" "Get your coat," Get your shoes", Get your Bink ( he can also say Binkum for his Pacifier)

-He knows animals (Frog, Kitty (he can meow), Dog)

-He know's Actions (Go, Stop(working on stop ;) )

-And he LOVES talking on the phone with his Pop Pop (my father)

Charlie has grown in leaps and bounds over these last few months. I am really enjoying this stage in his life. He is learning new things everyday, and keeps me on my toes.

He is definitely a 2 year old! He is Crazy and pushing the limits. We are also finding out that more and more things are starting to bother Charlie. The lights in most stores seem to set him off about 5-10 minutes in the store. We are trying to teach him how to tell us when something is bothering him. But it's like mixing oil with water. He is not willing to learn it at this moment, so we must not push.

Charlie LOVES to sing. His new favorite song is by a kid, Justin Bieber. I personally can stand the song. Nothing is wrong with it, just his voice drives me crazy, but to Charlie it's like heaven. We listen to it several times a day. He sings the song all day even when we aren't listening to it.

Here is a video of him rockin out to it.

Although I hate the song, I still play it as much as Charlie wants. I love hearing him sing and watching him Dance. Amelia gets in on the action too, and she is just as cute as her brother!

Amelia still seems to be opening Charlie up. He mimics her and follows her around the house all day. He is engaging in play with her and gets upset when she is sleeping or doesn't want to play. It's pretty awesome.

Pssst.....

What a week. It has defiantly had it's up's and downs. Last week Amelia got sick, then a couple days later I got sick, then Brian, and then Charlie. Anyone who know's an autistic toddler knows that when they are sick, they regress. Some kids regress more then others, and it takes longer for them to rebound and come back to their "normal"

So it's been 6 days since Charlie was sick. and today has been BY FAR the worst day. He has been stimmin SO hard. He is getting more and more sensitive to noises, lights, touch, smells, everything.

Today was so frustrating. He's two so he loves to explore, get in and play in the dirt. But he's also autistic, so the minute dirt or anything touches his hands, he FREAKS out. Screaming at the highest pitch possible until I wash his hands. Oh but wait!! Now water temperature freaks him out too. Can't be too hot or too cold.

So today Charlie was having a "i'm gonna lay on the floor and stare off into space" moment, and I said "pssst.....Charlie" he didn't respond so I said "Hey Charlie....pssst.... Your autism is showing," and in the smallest voice he said "yeah. love you"

Totally broke my heart. I was totally kidding, but it's like he understood and was apologizing.

I don't want Charlie to ever feel sorry for who he is. I want him to embrace it. But those feelings lead me to this question. Should we ever tell Charlie he is Autistic? Or should we just wait for him to ask us why he is different?

I know we probably won't tell him until he is old enough to understand, but it's the whole telling versus asking. Parent hood is hard but it's nothing like having a 2 year old Autistic boy.... Never a dull moment!

New Horizons!

I for sure thought these days would never come, especially this yearly. I was warned from the day Charlie was Diagnosed that he probably wouldn't potty learn until he was around 3-4 years old. I had it set in my mind that we would be stuck in diapers forever.

Once again Charlie has amazed us all! He is on the road to Potty learning! I announces each time that he goes "pee" and brings me a cloth dipe to change him. We are working on having him pull his pants down, but it seems to be a pretty big issue for him, so we will probably just keep him pant less at home and slowly teach him how to pull them up and down. Another hurtle is he HATES the feel of the toilet seat. So Brian is going to teach him how to pee standing up. We are going to go buy him a little stool this weekend and get started on it. I can't believe he is 2 1/2 and ready to learn the potty! I am so incredibly proud of him!

Oh and if that wasn't enough learning for a week, he learned how to CLIMB out of his crib!! The story is actually pretty cute...

I was sitting in the front room trying to get miss Amelia to fall asleep, when from Charlie's room I just hear taking and jabbering. I went in to take his toys away ( he usually sleeps with a car or 5) and told him it was WAY past his bed time and needed to go to sleep. He would see daddy in the morning (Brian was taking a test) , kissed him goodnight and shut his door. He did the typical screaming at me and telling me no. Then it got quite. I figured he had probably settled down and would go check in a minute as Amelia *just* fell asleep. I heard the door handle rattle and a door open, I thought Brian was home and was ready to pass off Amelia and head to bed, when a little boy walked out of his room, threw up his arms and proclaimed "TA-DAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

He was so proud of himself! I couldn't help but giggle, but told him that he couldn't do that and it was time for sleep. Yeah so did not work. He continued to climb out of his crib 4 more times. Finally I just let him stay up until Brian got home. Charlie finally stayed in his bed around 11pm. We put up a baby gate just in case he got out again, we didn't want him escaping the house.

I am mentally not prepared for all these new challenges that are ahead of us. This defiantly is the door way to an new chapter in Charlie's life, and some way some how I need to get prepared!

It's been awhile!

Sorry Everyone! It's been a CRAZY month. Amelia turned one April 3rd. We threw a HUGE party for her. Charlie did amazing with so many people at the house. He had a couple rough days afterwards, but we expected it.

Charlie seems to be progression at such a fast pace! He is talking more and more. His Vocab is defiantly getting bigger. I am so grateful that he is starting to talk. While none of it is useful in his daily life, it is will amazing. By useful I mean he still can not vocalize that he is hungry, thirsty, or wants something. He is getting better as in he goes into the kitchen and will stand there and sign for "more" Which is a HUGE step, but figuring out what he wants is still a challenge.

Last month I made Charlie some flash cards that has the Alphabet on it. He learned his ABC's in 1 day. He now points at everything and says what letter he see's. The linoleum in the front hallway is a big distraction for Charlie. He is CONSTANTLY pointing out the X's and I's in the pattern (Sometimes we don't see it until he points it out) When taking a shower (he prefers showers over baths) the water droplets on the sides are O's. He is so incredibly smart in that he can find a letter in anything. He LOVES reading T-shirts. His current favorite letters are X's, and W's . He says them pretty well too!

Charlie is starting to learn animal sounds. After 2 years of telling him "Cat's say Meow, and Dogs say RUFF!" It finally clicked. He only does it to the cats, but he will say "This is kitty! MEOW!" and now when he see's the cat he runs over SCREAMING "MEOW!!!" So freaking cute!!

He is starting to show more signs of Autism. His coping skills in public are decreasing. He is also starting to spin a lot more. I know it's to be expected as he gets older, but it doesn't make it an easier to deal with.

We are starting to connect with support groups, and other families of Autistic Children, and it really makes me grateful that Charlie is so high functioning. I am lucky to have such beautiful children.