Wow it has been a while since I last posted. Charlie has grown in leaps and bounds. I am so proud of him and all the hard work he has done. He is doing amazing in school, and I see changes in him everyday.

Charlie is talking A LOT. And it is so funny to listen to him and the things he comes up with. This morning him and Amelia are playing Puppy. He was walking around with a bowl of crackers saying "Come on Puppy! Want cracker?" And meme would crawl behind him barking. It is great! We never thought he would do imaginary play, and here he is 3 1/2 years old playing puppy with his little sister. It's amazing!

As we near the date of Charlie's 2 year anniversary since he was first evaluated and I first heard that he was autistic, I look back at how much he has changed. Just 8 months ago he could barely say a hand full of words, and today he is talking so much I have to tell him to be quite! I remember his therapist saying that Charlie might not ever be able to talk, or potty learn. As of today he is completely 100% potty learned, and even before the age of 4!!

I get told a lot that it is because Brian and I have worked so hard with Charlie, that he is the way he is today. But to be honest, it's not. Everyone has had a part in Charlie's growth. Whether it was our dear friends not giving up and hoping to be able to hold is hand one day, His therapists giving me information on what to do, to his teachers pushing his boundaries and limits, To family and friends understanding Charlie and his needs and just letting him be himself, and last but not least, His little sister. She has done more for Charlie then anyone could have or will do for him. She is his saint. She has opened him up when we struggled, She has been able to comfort when we can't, and talk and understand him when we weren't able.

I am just so lucky to have Charlie as my son and Amelia as my daughter

Since Charlie's first Diagnosis back in 2009 I have always been worried that he would be one of the more severe autistic kids and never learn how to be social, talk, or function at a level that he could be apart of society.

All those worries have slowly started to melt away. This past Wednesday I had a meeting with his teachers for his progress. I was more then pleased with what they had to say.

Charlie is an *amazing* little boy and has grown so much. He learns fast and is already to be moved up to the next class!! After spring break Charlie Starts the Ace 3 class, and then in 2012 he will start a BLENDED KINDERGARTEN!!!

I am so proud of my little boy. He has over come so much in his short little life. It is just so amazing to see him change and grow each day. Him and Amelia are the best of friends and prove to me each and every day that I am the luckiest mom on this earth.

So....

So the last blog post I was a very angry, bitter mom. I got over my resentment towards others and moved on. I just wanted to thank my friends who understood my anger and helped us get through the holidays on a happy note!!

The Holiday's ended up being okay. My mother was in the hospital over the Holiday's, so we drove the two hours and surprised her and my father on Christmas morning. Charlie did surprisingly well, and enjoyed the trip. Charlie LOVED opening presents and I think started to understand it all. Instead of buying decorations for the small tree we got, we made them out of home made play dough and the kids painted them. It was a lot of fun and we created wonderful memories.

But enough about the Holidays!! I want to get to the good stuff!!

Charlie has been doing *amazing*!! I can not believe he is the same little boy! He is talking up a storm, and LOVES and I mean L O V E S to sing! His favorite song right now is Twinkle, Twinkle little star. Since he sings it all day we decided to put glow in the dark stars up on his ceiling. Most brilliant Idea to date... thank you very much!!

Charlie is interacting with his peers so much more lately, and is playing with typical children in the way he should. His imagination is hilarious, and cracks me up several times a day.

Charlie has never been really aware of his environment. What I mean by that is that Charlie doesn't notice rain, snow, sleet, sunshine, clouds etc., Well this weekend he finally became aware. We were driving down the highway and it was raining, per usual. I was talking to Brian when all of a sudden he yells "LOOK MEME!!! BUBBLES!!!" and he starts patting the window!! I started to laugh and told him that no they weren't bubbles, but Rain. He was so excited and kept saying "OH!! LOOK!!! RAIN!!!" It was light a light bulb went on and he was in the moment with us. It was AWESOME.

His newest phase is "oh bother" whenever something doesn't go exactly right instead of screaming he just simply says "Oh bother Thomas" LOL. No idea where he picked it up from since the kids don't watch Winnie the Pooh, nor do Brian and I say that. But now we do! ;)

Another great story for you guys! Last Friday night we went to the mall to walk around and work on Charlie's sensory issues with loud noises. Before we left we stopped off at Jamba Juice and got smoothies. The kids got sampler cups which didn't have lids. Well meme was on Brian's shoulders and started to spill hers. She said she was done, so I took it away, but in the process some spilled on the floor. I turn around to throw the cup in the trash, and when I turned back around Charlie was on all fours LICKING the ground!! Yes folks, I have THAT child!! I of course panicked and started yelling "NO CHARLIE! NO LICKING!!!" Which then drew attention to the situation. I thought it was pretty funny myself. All we could do is just laugh, and say "oh Charlie..." haha.

Charlie is growing into such a great little boy. His personality is hilarious, and he is always making me smile. I just need to remember that it's not about what we can't do, but what we can.

Charlie's new phrases in the past month

"What are you doing?

"What Color is this?"

"Thomas on Tv please"

"I want......"

"See you later!"

"Miss you! Love you!"

Warning....

Warning this is an Angry rant. This is going to be truthful, and no holds barred- type deal. Also Language will be in the adult content.

A little information here for ya-- I have in the past 8 or so years haven't really liked the holidays. I'm simply not a holiday type person. It seems like so much work for really nothing.

So why am I so angry?

Well you see, I would LOVE to take my children out to see Santa, or the lighting of the Christmas tree in the town square, but in case you didn't know, My son Charlie--- Yeah he's Autistic.

Charlie doesn't understand Holiday's. It's one day out of 365 days that we do something different, that we do something out of the norm, and you think he's going to have fun?

I am so tired of people telling me what to do. I'm tired of hearing "Give unto others", "Be thankful for what you have", "Holiday's should be about family and being close"

WELL FUCK YOU!! SERIOUSLY?!?! DO YOU NOT THINK I DON'T KNOW THIS??? DO YOU NOT THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW IT'S ABOUT FAMILY AND ABOUT GIVING?! HOW ABOUT THIS JACKASS, I GIVE MY SELF 150% TO MY CHILDREN AND HUSBAND 365 DAYS A YEAR! And you want me to give even more just because of some religious holiday that I don't even have faith in?! Really????

Do you really think my son who btw is having one hell of a week because school is out for a week for thanksgiving, is going to want to sit on some strange persons lap that is wearing a costume? OH! AND tell him what he wants for the holiday?!? How about this.... I can't even get my son to tell me when he has to piss, let alone what fucking toy he wants.

Yes I do have a daughter, but do you think that she would want to sit on some strangers lap? She doesn't even like for her aunt to hold her, but lets put her on some strange mans lap... oh and the kicker?? Yeah she can barely communicate either.

I DO NOT have enough energy to try and decorate the house, because you know what will happen? You guessed it. Charlie would have yet another bad day because we changed the way the house looked. No I am not going to cook a feast for my family because my kids don't eat(really they don't). No I am not going to sing Christmas songs, nor am I going to try and fake my way through the Holidays.

I am Angry, I am bitter, and I am down right mean. As far as I am concerned the Holiday's this year can go screw them selves.

Progress.

Charlie is doing *amazing* at school, and now at home. He is learning how to ask for things, and he is learning that we have to do things through out the day that isn't really fun, but we still need to do them. At school he has been working on a sentence, and I got to witness the brilliance that is Charlie.

Charlie's teachers are working with him on the "I want" sentence. I have tried FOREVER to get him to tell me what he wants, but I have never been really successful with it. He's told me once or twice before that he wanted something, but it has never stuck. So in class Charlie has a little card, and on it it has two Velcro'd on squares. One says "I" and the other says "want" with the sign for want on it. The other day I was standing outside his class watching him work with Teacher Robbin when Teacher Suzie invited me into the classroom. She said to me "You HAVE to see this!!" So I walk in, and there is little Charlie sitting at his table with Robbin. She has a small bucket full of his favorite items, and in front of Charlie is pictures of his favorite items. Robbin gets Charlie's attention and says "Charlie what do you want?" And Charlie points to the "I" and Says "I" then he points to the "want" and says "Want" then points to the train picture and says "TRAIN!"

I kid you not. It was *AMAZING*. I stood there and watched for a good 5 minutes. He was oblivious to my existence in the room, but he was asking for things!! He was matching objects, he was pointing to words and saying them, he was doing it!! I of course started crying. I am just so thankful that Charlie is progressing. It has been such a long road, and I feel like we are finally on our way on the right path for Charlie.

With all of Charlie's new words and his talking non stop these days, he has started to talk in 3rd person. It's actually pretty cute. Whenever he is doing something, or wants to do something he refers to himself as Charlie and not I. So when he is hungry he says "Charlie, food! Charlie Drink!" He can't pronounce his name correctly so it sounds like Carly, but thats okay. He is doing it! he is communicating!!

The one thing we are still working on is introducing new things into Charlie's life. We knew one day that his little crib/toddler bed wouldn't be enough and he would need a bigger bed. Well that day came sooner then I had thought. You see his Crib is one of those 3-1 cribs. So about a month ago I was looking online to see where to buy the parts to turn it in to a full sized bed when I found out that Charlie's crib had been recalled last year. Severely bummed, we started looking at twin sized beds for Charlie. It made sense to get him a bigger bed so when he wants us to lay down with him we could. We asked out neighbor (who makes beds) to make Charlie a bed. We thought we were being a head of the game by having the frame set up in the spare room for a couple weeks for Charlie to get used to while we save money for his mattress.

So last night we took down Charlie's crib and started to move it into the garage. At first he was excited and helped move some pieces, and then he realized that his bed was gone. The only bed he has known since he first started sleeping by himself. He started to have a melt down when I took him into the spare room and reminded him that this was his new bed, and this was his BIG BOY BED! He started to get excited, but as soon as we started taking apart the bed to move into his room, he lost it. He was crying and screaming. He didn't know what was going on. I managed to calm him down and bring him in his room to show him his big boy bed was in his room now, and then this is where Charlie was going to sleep. Brian let Charlie screw in all the boards on the bottom of the bed (Charlie thought that was WAY awesome). We put on his new mattress and his new sheets and blankets. Charlie was super excited and was more then happy to lay in his bed with his sister. He seemed to be adjusting well to the new bed, and I thought we had completed our mission....I was wrong.

When it was time to go to bed for real Charlie was not having it. He didn't want his new bed, or his new blankets. Brian had to lay down with Charlie until he fell asleep. It all proved to be too much for him, the change wasn't as easy as I thought it had been. He was having issues transitioning from his old bed to the new. But he did do it. It may have had it's rough moments, but in the end he did fall asleep. And the great news? He slept ALL. NIGHT. LONG!!! Charlie has NEVER slept through the night!

I am just so proud of Charlie. He amazes me everyday, and there isn't a moment that goes by that I am thankful that I have him in my life.

Holiday Spirit.

So most of my friends know I have been lacking the Holiday spirit for some time now. I just can not get into the whole Holiday hustle and bustle. Well I finally found it.

I have been searching for the meaning of the holiday for my family when it hit me this morning. Our meaning of the Holiday is simply that we are lucky to be a whole family.

I have been Following another mama's blog since May of this year. Her dear Henry passed away shortly after I started following her blog, Henry was a victim of a severe assault and a drug over dose. I have cried countless times reading her blog and face book posts. My heart has broken along with countless others for her and her family.

Shortly after Henry passed her friend started "Henry's Travels". Everyone around the world would write Henry's name on a piece of paper, paint it on rocks, draw it in the sand, and then take a picture. Henry has even been to the south pole on a weather balloon . I have been so inspired to take part in Henry's travels, but I just couldn't think of anything clever. Until last night.

I was reading her posts about how hard the Holiday's were going to be with out Henry, and started to think. Well Henry can still be apart of the holidays....

So I purpose to you my dear friends and readers. When you are decorating your house and your tree for this special holiday please include Henry. Write his name in lights, string a popcorn in his name, write his name on a piece of paper, whatever it may be, and take a picture. Take a picture and send it to me, or to Katie herself. She is on Facebook as well. Her name is Katie Granju.

I want Katie to know that Henry still lives on, even in the Holiday season. Take a moment to remember Henry and his story. You can see his story here .

This is extremely important to me, and very special. Please don't take this lightly. We will be decorating with Henry in our hearts this Holiday season, please do the same.

Thank you!